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Fuck Marry Kill Harry Potter Edition 4

Hagrid, Dumbledore, The Sorting Hat

Harry Potter and the Sexy Hat

In case you couldn’t guess from the subheading right above this sentence, Mark and Kyle are going to fuck a hat. Not just any hat though, they’re going to fuck the Hogwarts Sorting Hat. “But why?” you ask. See that’s the thing, this is your fault. We didn’t wake up today and say “Hey, let’s fuck a hat shall we?” “Ok sure, but which hat? There are so many to choose from!” No, instead you guys are constantly asking for more Harry Potter content. With this being the 4th edition of Potter FMK, you’re gonna start getting some weird choices.

I know there are tons of other human characters that could have been the third choice, but guess what? We don’t pick the options. We go with whatever you give us. So, are you happy FanFiction Nation? Is this what you wanted? (Trick question. The answer is obviously yes, this is what you wanted. You asked for it.)

Now, here are your choices for this week:

The Calmest Man in the Face of Adversity We Have Ever Seen: Dumbledore
The Most Flapping-est Gums Man in the World: Hagrid
A Hat: The Sorting Hat

And that’s the end of that. So once you have your picks all sorted (get it?) let us know your picks and we’ll see you next week.

Final Things

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