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Fuck Marry Kill: Sonic the Hedgehog Edition

Sonic, Knuckles, Dr. Robotnik

Sonic the Fuckhog

That’s what we’d call Sonic if he was hoarding all the sex. Because he’s hogging the fuck. Kind of like how hedgehogs hog all of the hedges, which is why they’re so fast.

Ok look, fine. I have no idea what I’m talking about. I’m not a scientist. I’m just a guy smacking keys with my fingers and hoping that they make coherent sentences when all is said and done. And that’s kind of how I think Dr. Robotnik does things. He just kinda smacks robot parts together and hopes that those cyborgian robonimals (did I just create a word? yes. probably.) lead to his coherent sentences domination of the world. Also, I don’t understand how Dr. Robotnik can have an IQ of 300 but still manage to get thwarted by a spikeball and his dumb buddies.

Once again, we’ve gotten sidetracked (I’ve gotten sidetracked) so we’ll just move right along to the fun part. Here are your choices for the week.

One of the Beatles or something: Dr. “I am the Eggman” Robotnik
The Greedy Nymphomaniac (Fuckhog. Get it?): Sonic
Whatever the hell an Echidna is: Knuckles

There. Did we get through that fast enough for you? (That was a Sonic joke. Because he’s fast.)

What do you think? Take your time (because you’re not Sonic and not everyone has to be that fast at everything) to muse over your picks and then let us know in the comments on youtube or facebook or wherever the hell on the internet you think you can get our attention.

Final Things

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